


Bringing Him Home

by happychica



Series: A Crystal Hewn From Stone [5]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Aralakh Company - Freeform, Biotic students, Canon-Typical Violence, Cultists, Destroy Ending (Mass Effect), Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, Krogan kiddies, M/M, Rated for sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:20:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28798284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happychica/pseuds/happychica
Summary: When Kaidan goes missing, Shepard leans on his friends to help find him.  But to get Kaidan back, John will have to deal with the group that drove him away from Earth after the war, people he'd hoped never to meet again.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
Series: A Crystal Hewn From Stone [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2148366
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My Beta was the most awesome [nwfairy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nwfairy).
> 
> Setting notes:  
> This takes place about twenty years after the Reaper War ended. John, Kaidan, Jack, and Oriana all live on Tuchanka - the former works on uncovering and preserving Krogan culture while the latter three work at the biotic compound, which focuses mainly on helping the L2s.
> 
> The herd of Krogan children are as follows:  
> -Kronk, he/him, big and athletic, adores Vega  
> -Nukilik, she/her, quiet girl who rarely speaks  
> -Ahkla, they/them, rambunctious  
> -Qadira, she/her, "organization save time", biotic  
> -Grat and Tunk, the twins  
> -Wroth, he/him, tech head and artist

It really did feel like a school gymnasium back on Earth. Mats everywhere, lighting that was somehow always slightly wrong, balls and blocks scattered to all corners by the end of the day. Adults sounded a lot like teenagers when they were shouting back and forth between bouts of laughter and cheering.

Kaidan stood next to a stack of recently emptied storage crates, watching the closest pair of women collecting objects off the floor. Stella was bleeding from her nose, but not a steady drip. Overexertion but not overclocked - a good sign that she’d stopped on her own. Marcelle had been out the last few days on bed rest for whatever new treatment Dr. Michel was running her through. She’d spent today’s session fetching objects that were flung across the room, just happy to be allowed out of bed.

If B.A.a.T. had been more like this, maybe it wouldn’t have been shut down.

“Drop your balls, that’s enough for today!” General snickering followed Jack as she sauntered over to him. “They’re so easy today.”

Uncrossing his arms, Kaidan flicked a wrist, liberating an overlooked ball from where it’d been lodged in the support beams overhead. “Your unique teaching style not getting the response you’d hoped for?”

“Oh, they’re doing great.” Jack hoisted herself onto a stack of crates, surveying the clean up process. “Just ‘got the giggles’.” She pulled her bun loose, short hair almost covering the undercut. “Not used to giggles during training.”

“Grissom Academy was a decent place.”

“Military school doesn’t giggle.”

“Fair enough.”

“Hey, we’ve got some new guys coming in this afternoon,” Jack checked the clock on the wall, “or maybe they’re already here. Can you go grab some clothes?”

“We have uniforms now?”

“We have sensible shit to wear in case they didn’t bring any.” Jack snorted. “Learned that the hard way.”

Kaidan patted the boot nearest his head. “Three of ‘em, right?”

Jack grunted, pulling her hair back into place. Her attention snapped back to the students at the deep warble of a Singularity. “Johnson! Knock it off!” Kaidan fought down a grin as he headed out.

The smaller storage closet was down the hall and to the right, tucked awkwardly into an available space – a rare oversight in design, given this building came from the Alliance. Kaidan figured it went with the high school theme, and a usable closet was a usable closet.

Propping the door open, he debated the bins on the shelves to his left. He hadn’t seen the reports on the newcomers – tall? Short? He assumed human, since that was what Oriana’s specialty was in, but he wouldn’t put it past their friends to add a Turian to their group and “forget” to mention it. He turned his attention to the collection of boots on the lower shelf as footsteps approached. “Hey, do you want average sizes, or should I pull the extremes to be cute?”

A hand settled on his shoulder, followed by a blinding pain in his head.

Stumbling forward, Kaidan collided with the shelves, stars bursting before his eyes. He reached a hand up to his neck, gasping against the pain. Something had been jammed against his amp, the electric charge ricocheting along his nerves, making his shake. Behind him, he heard someone moving, coming closer. Before he could turn, something slammed into the back of skull.

Vision fading, Kaidan dropped to the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

“And then we ran straight at him!”

“It! We charged it!”

“Yeah, right, and it just flung us like Pyjacks!”

“Tiny Pyjacks!”

“It was so cool!”

“I’m not sure being compared to Pyjacks is ‘cool’,” Qadira said, stiffly. The shorter Krogan ahead of her dismissed her concerns, stubby legs racing each other to take the lead on the path home. Twisting her torso to see above her, she looked to John for confirmation. “’Cool’ is the word your pilot uses for enjoyable things.”

“Maybe Grat and Tunk meant being thrown was cool,” John offered.

The Krogan girl looked back at the twins and thought about it. “That would be cool.”

“Glad we got that settled.”

Unlike Asari, it seemed Krogan children aged slower than their counterparts. Even Kronk, the largest of the pack of Krogan kids who had adopted John and Kaidan as “their humans”, was still barely a meter and a half. As if to prove they could be as unlikely as the crew they adored, the kids had been ecstatic to learn that Rachni made excellent, if reluctant, babysitters when they visited John at a dig sight.

The recounting of their most recent adventure with their Rachni keeper was cut short as Ahkla barreled their way into the midst. “You’re back!”

“We’ve been gone since lunch,” Qadira chided them.

“Yeah, but I had to stay home and learn about Turian flight mechanics.”

“You like Turian flight mechanics.”

“No, I like getting Wroth wound up about Turian flight mechanics.” Ahkla made a face. “Why would I wanna fly in a Turian shuttle?”

The kids bickered as they walked back to the edge of Clan Urdnot territory. Qadira, the twins, and Nukilik had come out to “retrieve Shepard” as they usually did when John was away on longer trips. The City of the Ancients wasn’t far by shuttle, but some tasks were best done in one long stretch, even if it meant sleeping on the ground instead of a bed. They’d finally managed to stabilize the newest room yesterday, so long as Kalros didn’t change her feeding patterns, again.

A small tug on his pants brought John’s attention downward. Nukilik was pointing ahead of them. John looked up and spotted Oriana pacing near the Tomkahs.

“What do you think she wants?”

Nukilik looked at him, quiet as always.

“I’ll just ask her when we get there.”

The other kids had seen Oriana now, racing each other up the remainder of the path. She obviously hadn’t heard them, but she handled the short, scaly loudness well. She had the trio corralled and repeating their story by the time John and Nukilik brought up the rear. Seeing him, Oriana held up a hand to Tunk.

“This is a great story, you all have the greatest adventures, but I have to ask you to finish telling me later.” She leaned down conspiratorially. “I’m on a time-sensitive mission and I need to borrow Shepard.”

“But he just got back!”

Oriana shrugged apologetically. “I know. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

“That’s true,” Ahkla agreed. “You biotics all take your stuff very seriously.” They grinned at Qadira. “Must be a side effect of the eezo.”

Oriana stood up as Qadira reminded Ahkla that Rachni weren’t the only species who could toss people through the air. A genetic twin she might be, but Oriana had always been more likely to wear her thoughts on her face, tension replacing the interest she’d had for the kids’ story. “Shepard, come with me.”

John patted Nukilik on the head. “Keep an eye on them for me?” She nodded gravely and released her grip on his pants. John stepped away, around a cheering Grat, and followed Oriana toward a waiting shuttle. “What’s wrong?”

“We’ve been very thorough; Jack’s been in charge and you know how she is.” Oriana walked fast, legs eating up the ground as she worked up to whatever bad news she carried. John hurried to keep up.

“Why? What happened?”

“I’ve contacted my sister and Dr. T’soni. I didn’t know if you wanted Hackett involved, though I suppose he should be –“

“Oriana.” John caught up to the woman, catching her arm to pull her to a stop. “Tell me what happened. Why are we contacting people?”

Oriana’s shoulders were tight as she looked at him. “Kaidan’s missing.”

“Missing.”

“We’ve checked the compound, the medical facilities, the common areas of Clan Urdnot, your home. I checked the shuttle schedules myself, in case he’d been called out on a mission –“

“Missing.” John focused on his breath, just like he had back on the asteroid when it was just training. Stepping back, he focused on the anxious face in front of him. “How long?”

“We’re not sure.” Oriana’s eyes dropped for a moment, but she forced them back up. “A few days.”

“Days.” His throat was dry. “Days?”

“We think. The security footage has been frustratingly unhelpful –“

“My husband has been missing for days and nobody told me!” He was shouting by the end of it, decades out of the military not enough to forget that commanding roar. Oriana flinched but didn’t step back. John tried to listen past the rushing in his ears, mind flipping through possible scenarios, each more creative and unpleasant than the last.

“You were in the middle of an important project. We weren’t even sure he was gone the first day. We’ve been tracking down anything resembling a lead.” She held out a hand, stopping short of touching him, tone placating. “At first we didn’t want a false alarm. You were coming back today anyway; I’d hoped to have actionable intel when you arrived.”

Oriana glanced over his shoulder. John stared ahead blankly, not processing the recognition on her face. She waved to whoever it was as John worked to wrap his head around what she’d told him.

“Missing.” The pit where his stomach had been pulled, an ache he couldn’t breathe properly against. “Who would take him?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, what do you know?” John snapped. “While I was off playing in the dirt, what ‘actionable intel’ did you find?”

“We have none.” Bakara’s calm authority cut through his anger. The female Shaman nodded to Oriana, the young woman’s shoulders slumping as Bakara drew John’s ire. “Only good intentions and the need to find Major Alenko as quickly as we can.”

John faced his friend, momentary anger losing out to panic as the situation hit home. “No one called me.”

“I know.”

“Kaidan’s missing.”

“I know.”

He forced a shaky breath. “Someone came to Tuchanka, took the equivalent of a high-ranking official, and left. And no one knows anything.”

“So it would seem.”

John gripped the strap on his pack, focusing on his breathing. Bakara watched him, steady gaze pinning his panic like a Varren with its kill, letting him think. “If there’s no information at the compound, then we’d need to look for people who might be after Kaidan. Probably leftover from his time as an active Spectre.”

“A logical assumption.” Bakara held out a datapad. “This is for Jack; an updated list of members and skills. Aralakh Company is at your disposal, should brute force be needed to bring your mate home.” She turned to look over at the group of younglings; Nukilik watched them while Qadira continued to lecture the other three on the dangers of mocking a biotic. “I’ll take this lot off your hands.”

John thanked her and took the datapad. “Where’s Jack?”

“Maybe at your house?” Oriana sounded apologetic. “We had to kick her off the compound for a bit; she was losing it at the students.”

“Alright.” He still felt disconnected, but Jack wouldn’t coddle him. She’d tell him what she knew, help him go through Kaidan’s old reports. It was somewhere to start. He was playing catch up, but that had never stopped him before. He glared at Oriana, putting the reputation of an Officer of the Alliance behind it. “Any information, you call me. Immediately.”

Oriana nodded and led the way to the shuttle. “Of course, Commander.”

It was a mark of how badly she’d misjudged things that he didn’t correct her use of his title.

* * *

The young woman appeared at the opening of the room, bowl in hand. Kaidan watched her from his spot on the floor, not bothering to sit up. He didn’t really want the flavorless soup, even if he’d had the energy to prop himself up to drink it. The shivering had subsided for the moment, and curled up as he was, Kaidan could almost pretend he was warm.

“I am sorry for the restraints. It must hurt to wear them for so long.”

Kaidan couldn’t care less about the biotic restraints. Biotics ate an almost comical amount of food in a day; with what they’d been giving him, he doubted he could make his fingers spark blue.

Not that any of this mattered. The young woman set the bowl on the floor, far enough away he couldn’t knock it over if he resisted, and calmly but firmly sat him up against the wall. His left side felt chilled, exposed to the air for the first time in hours. Certain he would stay upright, the young woman retrieved her bowl.

“I know it’s bland, but it will help.”

“Not really.” Kaidan eyed the bowl. “There’s nothing in it.”

“The human body can last weeks without food.”

“I’m a biotic.”

“You are a mistake.” She smiled and held up the bowl. “But we need you a little while longer.”

Kaidan debated fighting. He’d probably just spill the liquid on himself; then he’d be cold and wet.

The young woman made approving noises while he drank, tipping the bowl up to be helpful. “See? Better.”

“Why are you doing this? What’s the point?”

The young woman sighed, pushing long red hair behind one ear. Woman was being generous, anyway - she couldn’t be more than twenty. She’d felt strong when she’d forced him to sit up, but there were no calluses on her hands - a nice girl from a nice family, at least by the looks of her. “You shouldn’t worry. There’s nothing you can do.”

“Please.” He had to try. “I have a family. I miss them.”

“I know.” She looked wistful for a moment. Probably thinking of whoever she’d left behind to work with these people. What could make someone walk away from a decent life to hold a soldier hostage in a cave?

Kaidan shifted against the wall. “Can I help? If you finish…whatever you’re doing here, then we can all go home, right?”

“You’ve caused enough problems.”

“I don’t even k-know you.” He was shivering, again. “W-why me?”

“We have to fix the Shepard. He’s lost his way.”

Kaidan’s eyes widened. “This is about John?”

The crack hurt his ears in the small space. She’d slapped him almost hard enough to knock him over. Kaidan felt his eyes water as the young woman hissed at him. “Do not use that false name; it will not help you here. The Shepard should never be burdened with something so mundane, so...human.”

“What…you…don’t think Shepard…is human?” He kept blinking, trying to clear the spots. The soup had done little beyond reminding his body that he wasn’t eating. How could one little slap hurt so much?

She watched Kaidan shake off the discomfort, waiting until he was looking at her, again. “We are given what is needed at the proper time. The Shepard started this change, but the chaos of this world has not been settled. We still need him.” The young woman looked at Kaidan like she genuinely felt sorry for him. “There is much work he can still do.”

“Shepard is working. H-He’s always busy.”

“On pointless things.” She brushed a strand of greying hair back off his forehead. “But things will be made right now. Your selfishness cannot corrupt him any longer.”

Kaidan stared at her, sluggish mind trying to remember something. Years ago, when they’d still been on Earth. “My selfish…”

“You were good to collect the pieces. The Shepard has always needed care to find his way.” Collecting her bowl, the young woman stood up. Her pleasant tone never wavered. “But now you are a corrupting influence. A crutch that he has forgotten how to walk without.”

The Shepard…

“You’re that group.” Kaidan looked up at the young woman’s face, that awful calm summoning images, a man this time, trying to explain something to John on a street corner. “From Earth. The ones that think Shepard’s some kind of…of divine influence.” They hadn’t been satisfied with their weird beliefs. Had they taken him as practice? Proof of concept that they could abduct a Spectre from a place with high security?

“And you’ve wasted twenty years of his life on that rock.” She looked at him, condescension pressing against that practiced calm. “You must be quite skilled.”

Kaidan laughed, panic and exhaustion almost turning it hysterical. “My dick’s not that impressive, ma’am.”

“Nothing about you is impressive.” Turning, the young woman walked away. “You will serve your purpose, and all will be right once more.”

“I won’t help you hurt him.” Pulling his legs up to his chest, Kaidan tried for the stubbornness that had gotten him in so much trouble when he was young. “It w-won’t work, whatever you’re planning.”

The young woman was out of sight now. Kaidan hunched his shoulders and tried to think. He was sure it’d been a few days. Somehow they’d gotten passed every kind of security Miranda had set up on the biotic compound, passed all those paranoid Krogan, passed people who should have recognized an outsider – there just weren’t that many humans on Tuchanka.

At best he was bait. It didn’t sound like he was bait. He couldn’t stand being the leash they used to control John. Not to mention the fallout when they finally decided John wasn’t what they wanted after all.

It was too much. Something between nausea and a sob was stuck in his throat. Lying back down, Kaidan curled up and thought of home. He wanted John, but that would mean him being in this awful place, too. Stuck with these people John fled an entire planet to get away from. Kaidan squeezed his eyes shut against the tears. This would be a waking nightmare, one of the worst things that could have happened since the war, and he still wished John was there with him.

Maybe his selfishness did corrupt things.


	3. Chapter 3

A week. Kaidan had been gone a week.

John rolled Bakara’s crystal between his hands, staring into the middle distance. How far could a ship get in a week? How far into the shadows could someone disappear? Would it still be a rescue?

Jerking to his feet, John paced away from the stairs.

It was a rescue. It had to be a rescue. Whoever this was could have killed Kaidan while they were on Tuchanka. Why take him if this was just a murder?

Reaching the far wall, John turned back. He’d tried work, tried planning, tried making the new dextro recipes Tali had sent him last month. Because there was nothing he could do. Liara was looking. Miranda was looking. Aria T’Loak had given John a hard stare and told him she’d call.

Nothing to do but hope others could bring him good news. Like waiting for reports on the Crucible. Except instead of dreading a casualty list or Hackett’s latest update on Earth, he wanted more than anything to hear from someone. Anyone.

“Hey, Shep.”

John jumped, spinning as his arms came up on instinct, ready to defend, before recognizing the voice. Kasumi held up her hands, her usually mischievous smile dimmed. John lowered his arms.

“Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.”

“Did you need something, Kasumi?” He knew his tone was unfriendly. John gave Kasumi a rueful look but she waved it away.

“I hear there’s a manhunt.”

“Somebody took Kaidan. I have…no other information.” His voice cracked on the word. John looked down at the crystal. _In the darkest hour, there is always a way out._

“I know how horrible it is to have a loved one held hostage.” Kasumi’s hand twitched, just a hair, toward the pocket he knew held Keiji’s greybox. “Thought I’d return the favor.”

“You found him?”

“Best thief in the galaxy, remember?” Kasumi’s smile was its old, trouble-making self. “Stealing people isn’t my usual style, but I did rescue that child prodigy.”

“You found him.” John felt like he could breath, even as he gripped the crystal tightly in one hand.

“I found breadcrumbs,” Kasumi said, calling up her omni-tool. She flipped through information on the screen as she talked, eyes bright as she built toward the reveal. “There’s been a group of humans causing mischief for a few years now. Started on Earth, but they’ve taken to the stars for some nefarious purpose they’ve been refusing to announce.”

John felt his stomach drop. “Breadcrumbs?”

“They’ve been up to some pretty weird things. Without details, they sound a little like the Hanar.”

“Religious nuts.”

“Religious nuts that spend a lot of time trying to learn about Commander Shepard.” Kasumi looked up at him from under her hood. “Only they don’t call you that.”

He felt numb. “The Shepard.” John could feel the crystal, still cool in his hand; he was surprised he hadn’t dropped it. “They think I’m a god. Or sent by one.”

Kasumi closed her omni-tool, slightly put out. “You’ve heard of them.”

John looked around and gave a hollow laugh. “Yeah.”

“Wrong or not, they’ve been very interested in you for a while now. Bit like that Verner guy, but less worried about your approval.”

It still didn’t make sense. “If they’re obsessed with me, why did they take Kaidan?”

“He’s valuable to you.”

“I know he’s valuable to me!” Running a hand through his hair, John exhaled. “Kasumi, not that I’m not grateful, but why are you here?” He watched her lean against the wall, arms crossed for something to do. He wondered if he’s ever seen her stay visible for this long.

“My breadcrumbs match some of the trouble Aria’s been having with a merc group that sticks to the edge of the Attican Traverse. Maybe she knows where the loaf is.”

“So, tell her.”

“I did.”

John frowned at her. “Then why…are you here?”

“I told you,” Kasumi repeated, “I’m here to return the favor. You helped me get Keiji back. You’re stuck with me until we bring Kaidan home.” Shifting her weight, Kasumi smirked. “I sense I won’t be getting to see you in formal wear this time.”

John twitched at the soft chime from the back office. The communication console was blinking, signaling an incoming message.

Keying in the command, John looked up as Liara materialized.

“Shepard, there should be a ship at the main landing zone for Clan Urdnot in a few hours. Aria thinks she’s found Kaidan.”

“She does?”

“Something about a religious sect, encamped a couple Relays from Tuchanka. She was planning to investigate if it was involved in her mercenary trouble, but she’s agreed to let us take the lead.”

Kasumi’s pleased laugh came from thin air. John held his breath. “You’re sure?”

“I’ve confirmed what I can, but the best way to confirm Kaidan’s there is to just send you.” Liara’s smile was unkind. “I had a ship in the area. I hear Aralakh Company has volunteered to be your Krantt.”

“Jack’s coming, too.”

“Good.”

A tap on his shoulder. “And Kasumi.”

Liara cocked her head. “I wondered where Aria’s information came from.”

“Best thief in the galaxy, remember?”

“Shepard!”

Looking over his shoulder, John felt his own hard grin. “Sounds like Jack knows. I’d better get ready.”

“Bring our man home.” Liara tapped something at her end. “I’ll keep the comm open until I hear from you.”

Logging off the console, John strode out of the back room. Jack was halfway up the stairs, still shouting. “Jack, down here.”

“Grunt says Liara has a lead. Shuttle inbound.”

“I just got off the comm.” John kept walking, circling around the kitchen to the hallway that led to the spare bedrooms. He stopped in front of a door, an inconspicuous closet except for the security lock on it. “Need anything from the armory?”

Jack gave him a feral grin. “You still got that illegal shotgun?”

“All yours.” Punching in a code as he palmed the pad, John waited for the reinforced door to slide open. Waiting patiently, as it always had, was his black armor, red and white blaze down the right arm.

John stepped forward and grabbed the shotgun. He handed it to Jack with a set of thermal clips. A few items shifted, but nothing disappeared.

It took a second, but Jack laughed. “I’d say nice to see you, but I rarely do.” A tug on her bun. “Hey, girl.”

Taking down the chest piece, John called over his shoulder. “If you ladies will excuse me, I need to dress for the evening.”

Jack waved as she walked back down the hall. “Hurry it up. We’ll be out on the porch, planning violence.”

* * *

There was excitement in the big room. Voices carried from the larger chamber he knew was somewhere to his left, mixed with the sounds of things being moved around. Urgency, but not distress. Like a timetable had been moved up.

A man walked into the space. Kaidan had seen him once or twice: middle-aged, brown hair, a burn scar peeking out of the collar of his tunic. From his place on the floor, the man looked very tall.

The man stopped next to Kaidan’s head. He looked down at the biotic in disgust. “It’s time.”

“Time for what?” Kaidan wished his voice wasn’t so quiet, but he didn’t have the energy to sneer. He certainly wasn’t going to sit up for more ominous bullshit.

Reaching down, the man hauled Kaidan to his feet. He adjusted his hold, keeping Kaidan standing by a harsh grip on his upper arm. Kaidan winced as the biotic restraints dragged against the raw skin of his wrists. He breathed through the dizzy spell.

“Moving rooms?” Kaidan mumbled to his feet.

“Be grateful you have been found useful.” The man pulled Kaidan along after him. “I would have disposed of you on the first day.”

_Dispose of him._

Kaidan flushed. “Sorry to be such a pain.”

The man’s lips twisted in a cruel smirk. “You’ll serve your purpose.”

All this noise, these…preparations. “Shepard.”

“You’ll get to see him one last time.” The man’s voice changed, awe and pride taking over at the idea of what was to come. “Then our work will be completed. We will have restored the Shepard to his galactic role. His divine purpose.”

“He won’t listen to you.” Kaidan stumbled, the grip on his arm the only thing keeping him upright. “John won’t do what you want.”

The man threw Kaidan into the stone wall, snarling as he collapsed onto the hallway floor. “You do not speak for the Shepard. You are an obstacle we shall overcome.”

Pain spiked through his shoulder. Kaidan tried to remember that it just hurt because of the situation. He was hungry, cold, tired – nothing he couldn’t handle. Kaidan glared up at the man, shaking as he leaned on the name. “ _John_ will kill you.”

The man crouched in front of Kaidan. His voice was calm. “Then it will be an honor to die by his hand.” He leaned forward, holding Kaidan’s gaze. “But not before you die by ours.”

* * *

So far, the base was empty. They’d landed without incident; deploying to the planet’s surface, there’d been no resistance. The front door had yielded under Kasumi’s hacking in seconds.

They’d filed into the first chamber, spreading out to check doors and consoles and cameras. John had felt himself settle on the ride over, the old N7 armor pulling his training back to the surface. He scanned the room with a cool detachment, searching for anything out of place.

It was a normal, empty room.

“I don’t like this,” Grunt muttered, shifting his weight as his nerves spiked at the lack of action. He watched his company secure the room, signalling two to guard the door they’d come through. “Bad enough to waste our time; this feels like they knew we were coming.”

“They took him alive,” Kasumi answered. “They wanted you to come for him.”

“Well, we’re here.” Jack flexed her hands, dark energy roiling around them, ready to lash out at her opponents. “Come out and play, fuckers.”

Moving through the space, John gestured with his gun at the open door. “Looks like an invitation.”

Now that he was closer, he could hear sounds from the next room. John signaled for the Krogan to stay back; they didn’t know what they were walking into – no sense getting them all caught in a blast. Jack stepped up by his shoulder, the look on her face brooking no discussion. A feeling told him Kasumi was at the other side. Grunt nodded, his people checking over their weapons and spacing out to make more targets. John trusted them to take every advantage their advance trio gave.

Stepping through the door, John kept his gun aimed low, eyes sweeping the room.

Whoever had excavated this place had used old tools. The cavern walls were gouged out of the dark stone, someone forcing their will on a space that didn’t want to exist. The ceiling vaulted up, disappearing into shadows made darker by the artificial light down below. Their boots scrapped on the hard packed floor as John and Jack moved farther into the space. Boxes and containers were placed around, mostly near the edges of the room, as if clearing a central area. Standing apart from each other were several dozen humans, all wearing simple tunics or dresses. Most had their eyes closed as they swayed to the low rumble of voices, a repeated set of phrases filling the space.

Jack stepped closer to John, her biotics dimming to avoid drawing attention. Her voice was low, suspicious, her shoulders tensed at the behavior of the crowd around them. “Not mercs.”

“Shepard! Reveal thyself!”

Attention snapping forward, John looked at the older man in the middle of the room. He was raised above the others, feet planted wide on a makeshift dais. His commanding voice filled the room, silencing the other voices. His gaze was clear as he took in his visitors.

He could hear the mirth in Kasumi’s voice. “Never a crate to hide behind when you need one.”

“We mean you no harm, but we must be certain.”

Feeling the attention of the room move to him, John slowly holstered his gun, hands moving to unclip and lift off his helmet. There were gasps and inhales as his face became visible. The older man gave a formal nod.

“We have been waiting.”

“Waiting for what?” John asked, voice reflecting the years of military training. “Not for me, I hope.”

“Timing cannot be fought. We do what we must, knowing how others speak of us.” The older man raised his chin in defiance. “Whatever you might think of us now, know we have done what was needed. As we will do what is needed today.”

A murmur ran through the room. John flicked his gaze to the side, coming back to center when it was apparent no one was moving. The older man bent at the waist, pulling the collapsed form next to him on the dais upright, forcing the man to kneel.

Kaidan.

He felt movement next to him. Jack shifted her weight, hands balled into fists. Grunt’s deep rumble came through the comms. “Shepard, what’s happening? We can take this bunch of weaklings, just give the word.”

Swallowing against a dry mouth, John scrambled for calm. “No,” he said, voice low so the helmet limited his response to their comms, “it’s a cult. Until we know what they want, do not engage.” John raised his voice, trying to sound conversationally curious. “What do you need to do?”

“We know that you have been called to do much. You have given more than any of us, and yet the galaxy is not done with you. There is still work to be done.”

Kaidan’s head was down, shoulders hunched forward in lines of exhaustion. His clothes hung off him. John could see the chaffing at his wrists, angry red lines under the restraints. His tongue felt thick in his mouth. “If you needed me to do something, there are easier ways to get my attention.”

“There is no one task.” The older man settled his hand on Kaidan’s head. “We would not dare to tell the Shepard how to do his work. We only wish to aid in any way we can. To remove obstacles others might put in your way.”

“Obstacles.”

Fixing his grip on Kaidan’s hair, the older man pulled Kaidan’s head up and back. There was less bruising than John had feared. His face was pale, cheekbones defined by the loss of what little fat Kaidan had. There was dried blood under Kaidan’s nose and he had a split lip. His eyes, though. John didn’t think Kaidan knew where he was. The soft groan carried across the space, an unconscious reaction to having his head held at such an angle.

John tried to breath. “Look, whoever you are –“

“I am irrelevant.” The older man’s voice rang with authority. “We are all of us irrelevant. We cannot shape the galaxy, but we can give of ourselves to aid those who can.” Raising his other hand above his head, John caught the glint of metal. “We have watched, and waited, and witnessed. We have seen the weakness grow in the Shepard. We shall not stand by and forsake the gift given us in our times of need.”

He’d raised his voice for the last bit, receiving shouts and calls from the people around him. John kept his focus on the knife. “I don’t want you to do this.”

“What you want is irrelevant.” The statement boomed out of the older man. “You are needed. You are irreplaceable. You were returned to us once before. We will not lose you, again.”

He could hear Kasumi whispering, relating information back to Grunt - how many cultists, types of weapons, the layout of the room - stripping the cultists of any element of surprise she could. Jack had moved, ever so slightly, reacting to Kasumi’s recon as best she could from the middle of the mess. His ghost, his frontal assault, the two dozen violent giants just out of sight - it countered the panic, the need to rush in.

John kept his voice steady. “Then why not take me? You proved you could get to me if you wanted. Why waste your time with someone else?”

Lowering the knife, the older man held John’s gaze. “Your weakness must be purged.”

“But…” This didn’t make sense. “What weakness?”

“Kaidan,” Jack growled. More whispers in the comms. John wasn’t listening. The older man nodded.

“But it is not enough to eliminate this weakness. You might simply replace it with another.” Looking down, the older man ran his thumb over Kaidan’s temple. A moment of softness. “You must witness the purge. Feel the weakness leaving you.” He settled the knife against Kaidan’s neck.

Brown eyes found his. Dark brows drew down. “John?”

The knife jerked away from Kaidan’s neck. The older man yelled, the sound cut short as he flew back. Jack’s bellow accompanied a flash of violent blue light.

Sound exploded around him - Krogan roars and the static snap of biotics. The cultists hesitated, caught off guard, losing a few of their own before diving for weapons stashed around the room. The calm and silence of the base shattered under a hail of bullets.

Sprinting forward, John dropped his helmet, tackling Kaidan off the dais. Cradling Kaidan’s head, they landed in a heap on the far side, John covering as much of his husband as he could. His breath hitched as he felt his shields block a shot.

“Kaidan, talk to me.”

A groan. “Ow.”

Head low, John took in the fight around him. The cultists were putting up a solid fight. He guessed those tunics covered low grade armor and even light weight arms could be deadly. “Are you injured?”

“Tired.” Kaidan coughed. “Could…use some food.”

“They haven’t been feeding you?”

“The human body can last weeks without food,” Kaidan mumbled. “Not…a biotic’s…”

Reaching between them, John ran his omni-tool over the restraints - a click and they released. Kaidan pulled his wrists free.

Bullets glanced off the floor near their heads.

Leaning forward, John wrapped his arms around Kaidan’s head, lying fully on him.

Heavy boots landed nearby, dark energy greeted with a grunt as it found a target. Jack yelled as she charged at another cultist, blue glow stripping the humanity of the advancing threat. A warning shout before the ping of a grenade. Shouts and scrambling before the blast of detonation, almost drowned by the bellow of approval. John glanced up in time to see a woman thrown across the space, thudding into the wall as the Krogan responsible continued his charge to make sure she stayed down.

Kaidan huffed. “John, you’re kinda heavy.”

“If I move, they’ll shoot you.”

“Do not resist.”

A woman’s voice. John peeked over his arm, seeing a young woman with a shotgun. Her hair had come loose from its bun, dress torn at the shoulder where a shot had grazed her. Her expression was harried, but she stood tall, determined, body shielded from most of the chaos by a large crate.

“This is for the good of all.” Her certainty chilled John’s blood. “The weakness must be purged.”

“He’s not a weakness,” John argued. He felt Kaidan moving, a hand sliding over his hip, looking for a weapon, a tool, something to help. “Kaidan’s walking out of here with me.”

The young woman stepped forward, checking around her before striding toward them. Dropping to her knees, she gave John a pleading look. “You’re suffering. This will help.”

“If I’m suffering, it’s because of you people.”

“You must be freed of this mortal –“

“Say weakness and I’ll break your arm.” He felt Kaidan’s laugh ghost over his cheek.

“These people have given everything to serve you.” The young woman’s eyes were wide, earnest, pleading for his understanding. “There is nothing they would not do to see that your great work continues. Sometimes a sacrifice must be made.”

“And giving up your old lives wasn’t sacrifice enough?”

“That was our sacrifice. You needed time to heal from the war, from the pain and price of our continued existence.” The young woman ducked at the sound of a heavy pistol burning through a clip. “But you have been stagnant. You are wasting yourself and we will all pay for it.” She held the shotgun tighter. “We wanted it to be quick. Painless, in honor of the good he helped you do.”

“Your leader said ‘timing cannot be fought’,” John countered. “How did you know it was time for him to die.”

“There is too much left to be done. We couldn’t risk waiting any longer.”

“So, this is just a guess. You’d murder someone on a hunch.” John felt his chest tighten. “Not gonna happen. He’s coming with me.”

“But you have work left!” The young woman sounded desperate. “There is so much good the Shepard can still do. So many people left to help. You saved all of us once before, and yet –“

“I didn’t save all of you,” John snapped, “I saved him. The rest of you just got lucky.”

A calm settled over them. Echoes of shouts and gunfire faded as the remaining cultists hid, unprepared the catcalling Krogan across from them. Underneath him, John could feel Kaidan breathing, alive and awake and almost safe. The young woman was watching them, eyes wide.

“You saved him.”

“Yes.”

“Your decisions were not made for the greater good.”

John exhaled through his nose. “The weight of the galaxy is too much for any man. But destroying the Reapers would keep everyone I love safe.” Looking down, John studied the face of the man he loved, bruised and leaner than when he’d last seen it. “Keep him safe.”

The dais groaned under the added weight. “Shepard.” The snick of a shotgun cocking. “Don’t move.”

“Wait.” The young woman held up a hand, laying her own shotgun on the ground as she looked up at Krogan looming over her. “Please, wait.”

“Keep your gun on her,” Jack called. “Don’t trust her, Shepard.”

John pushed up on his elbows, taking some of his weight off Kaidan. The young woman folded her hands in her lap.

“The choices you made were to save but a few, yet you saved us all.” She spoke the words slowly, as if they were a foreign language half learned. “The bonds of your own kept you fighting.”

“I wouldn’t be here without them.” John looked over to where Jack had trapped half a dozen cultists in Stasis. “They saved me in combat, but they also saved me…from despair.” He listened to Grunt’s breathing as the Krogan loomed over them, ready to save him, once again. “From giving away my life just to ease the pain.”

“You feel pain?”

John snorted. “Of course. Everything alive feels pain.” He looked over at the young woman. “Didn’t it hurt to give up everything to chase after an idea?”

“Your work must be continued.”

“You want me to keep helping people. I do.” John thought back, remembering at time he’d been cleared medically but couldn’t get out of his own head, away from the guilt. When Kaidan had reminded him, every damn day, that it was a good thing he’d survived, that there was more to his life than just winning the biggest war they’d ever see. “I fight for those who need me. Who don’t have others who will help them.”

The young woman had bowed her head. “Forgive me. We misunderstood your purpose.” She stole a glance at Kaidan, who was watching her warily. “You were gracious during your trial. Far more than most of us. We will of course let you go.”

“Just like that?” John laced his voice with skepticism.

“What must his value be, for the Shepard to risk so much to keep him by your side?” Her voice held a kind of awe, a dawning realization. “We did not understand. We thought the Shepard’s purpose was callous and cutting. To form and repurpose the galaxy into a better world. A coldness that cut through the burning rage of so many generations.” The young woman kept her head low. “But we were mistaken.”

“You were mistaken.”

“Our intentions were pure, but evil takes all forms. It nearly won us from our cause.”

Kaidan looked at John, who frowned. “But you know better now?”

The young woman was looking at Kaidan, hands clutched to her chest. “You are not the Shepard’s weakness. You are his heart.” The revelation changed her face. The aggression and fear melted away to hope as the young woman tried to merge her old ideas with this new understanding. “A strength that reshaped reality. The fire that forged the tool we needed. Without you,” she exhaled, “the Shepard might have given in to other forces.”

The young woman got to her feet, arms held wide. “Stand down! We must let them go!”

“What?!” The angry voice preceded the man, torn shirt revealing a faded burn scar high on his chest. “Only the Shepard is supposed to leave!”

“We’ve been misled,” the young woman called to the remaining cultists. “And we have been punished for our mistakes. But we need not waste this chance to repent and carry on.”

John watched the shotgun lift and vanish into Kasumi’s cloaking field. “Anything else I should snag?”

“Don’t think so.” John smiled at Kaidan. “I’ve got what I want.”

Kaidan blushed and hid his face against John’s arm. “I don’t want to be approved of by a creepy cult.”

“I don’t think you get a choice.”

“Your exposure to him has corrupted your faith. You did your job, keeping him alive until the Shepard arrived, but now he must die.” Crouched behind a stack of boxes, the man raised his voice to be heard by the remaining combatants. “No lie you spread can be believed.”

“The Shepard would not risk so much for nothing,” the young woman persisted. “How can we defend him when we do not believe him?”

“He has been deceived.” The scarred man swung the heavy pistol toward John and Kaidan. “He must be corrected.”

John dropped, covering Kaidan on instinct as the gun fired. A second, louder shot followed, then the thumps of bodies hitting the floor. Risking a look, John saw what was left of the man, his damaged top half blocked from view by the young woman’s form.

Grunt popped the spent thermal clip. “Idiots.”

John breathed a sigh of relief. He dropped his head, resting his forehead against Kaidan’s. “I hate these people.”

“Don’t let them hear you say that.” Kaidan summoned a weak smile. “There might be some fail safe they can still use to ‘purge your weakness’ the hard way.”

John scowled. “Don’t joke.” Sitting up, John pulled Kaidan with him. “And never call yourself a weakness.”

The shimmer of a fading cloak accompanied the amused voice. “Someday, I will go somewhere with you and there will be no shooting.”

Kaidan looked around. “Kasumi?”

“Glad to see you’re in one piece.” The thief held up the knife. “Feel free to be offended. All this set up and they weren’t even going to use a proper ritual blade. Just some random knife.” She turned it over. “I hope they at least washed it first.”

“Not my biggest concern at the time,” Kaidan said. He’d made it to his feet, leaning heavily on John. “But thanks for worrying about the aesthetic of my death.”

“What can I say? Steal enough art and you risk becoming a snob.”

The few remaining cultists had been rounded up and moved to a corner. A wall of Krogan kept them in place, the more practical members of Aralakh Company heading toward the hall at the back to check for any last surprises.

Kasumi vanished as Jack walked up, chugging a bottle of the biotic recovery drink. She held the thermos out to Kaidan. “You look terrible.”

Kaidan held up a hand. “Thanks, but no thanks.” Jack raised an eyebrow. “That’s military grade pickup juice.” Kaidan blew out a breath. “Might knock me over right now.”

Jack held the bottle out for another second, then took it back. “We should probably get you actually food.” She cracked a grin. “Maybe a beer?”

“I could go for a beer.”

Grunt had a hand to the side of his head. “Looks like they were all out here. Nothing in the back rooms but supplies.” He shot a glare at the cultists. “What are we doing with them?”

“Shoot them.”

“Jack.”

The biotic glared at John. “They’re a threat and they’re crazy.” Jack crossed her arms. “I was in a cult, Shepard. I know what happens when they lose their leader.”

“The Alliance sorted out Major Kyle’s group,” John said. “Put them in therapy, I think.”

Jack looked pointedly at Kaidan. “It’s not your life you’re risking.”

“It’d be easier to kill them here,” Grunt agreed. “Let them die with their own.”

John watched his helmet float off the ground and vanish. He’d convinced one of them, but there was no way to know what the others still believed. No way to know what other plans they had. “They might try again.”

“So?” Grunt hefted his shotgun.

“Kaidan.” The man shifted against John. “You were their target.” John studied the huddle of humans. “Thoughts?”

“They’ve had years to see sense and instead they spread their idiotic ideas.” Kaidan was looking at Jack. “I think they’ll keep hurting the people you care about, and when they realize you aren’t what they think you are, they’ll try and kill you.”

John could hear Aralakh Company taking position. “You’re worried about me?”

Kaidan looked offended. “I always worry about you. These people are a big part of why you wanted off Earth.” He laid a hand on John’s cheek “I don’t want you to be afraid anymore.”

“It doesn’t matter if we die today.” The high voice held pride. “We have done our best and we have laid the groundwork for those who come after. The Shepard will be saved.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

John closed his eyes, laying his own hand over Kaidan’s. “Lock them up, Grunt. We’ll hand them over to the Shadow Broker’s people.”

He opened his eyes as Jack headed toward the main door. He could hear her calling Liara, confirming coordinates and explaining his request. Grunt stomped off, ordering containment and clean up operations.

John felt the last of the tension leave him. He pulled Kaidan into a proper hug, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Let’s go home.”


	4. Chapter 4

“It looks like Aria was satisfied with reclaiming the supplies from the base.” Liara looked over her tea. “There were even a few weapons left.”

Jack set her coffee mug down. “No point in collecting the little guns. Grunt’s guys took most of the food.”

“Of course they did.”

Liara had been waiting for them at the landing zone on Tuchanka when they’d got back. She’d had a shuttle prepped and waiting to get them to the medical building on the biotic compound, firmly ignoring Kaidan’s protests that he was fine, he just needed to rest.

Dr. Michel had given Kaidan a thorough going-over. For the most part, he was only tired. The lack of food was a problem, but since he hadn’t been actively using his biotics, the damage was less severe than they’d worried. A few days to make sure he could eat normal food, keep to light exercise when he started training again, and he’d be fine. The doctor had been more concerned about his implant – the cultists had run a high voltage current through it, risking damage to the implant as well as Kaidan’s nervous system. The biotic had objected strenuously to being kept overnight for observation, but Dr. Michel was used to stubborn. They’d compromised, Dr. Michel agreeing to let John stay with him, curled up in one of the slightly more comfortable plastic chairs.

Nearly a week on, it was almost like nothing had happened. The kids had even been by yesterday, worried about their humans but immediately distracted by the Asari Huntress who could kill them with her mind. (No amount of arguing had convinced them she wasn’t one and biotics didn’t work like that, so Liara had given up.) She’d lifted them all in a Singularity, hiding her amusement as they shrieked and kicked each other, Nukilik balled up for safety while Qadira listed reasons why Singularities were rarely used by Krogan biotics. Released from their floating prison, the kids had thundered upstairs to check on their humans, John getting waylaid on the landing as he’d come down to investigate the ruckus.

“I think we’ve finally got all the security upgrades installed.” Jack was rotating her coffee mug, fingers a cage over the top. “Between you and Miranda, it’s amazing any of us still have clearance.”

Liara set down her tea. “We can’t have this happen again. There’s plenty of medical and scientific files we wouldn’t want falling into the wrong hands.”

“And it sucks that one of our own almost died,” Jack added.

“That, too.”

Jack scowled. She’d taken the whole thing pretty hard. Kaidan wasn’t one of her students, but he was a friend. More importantly, he wasn’t somebody who was easily jumped. There’d been planning, observation, thought put into this. How far had the Psychotic Biotic fallen that assholes could just kidnap her friends without her even knowing there was a threat?

“At least we know more about this group,” Liara continued. “It appears the cultists had been helping themselves to certain parts of Omega’s supply lines. They also know enough about the crew of the Normandy to plan against our skills and have access to the tech needed to subdue us. All things that will be easier to counter, now that we know someone’s exploiting them.”

“Keeping to cheerful topics of conversation, I see.”

The women looked over as their friend reached the bottom of the stairs. John’s hair, light brown still refusing to turn grey, was mussed – he’d been running his fingers through it a lot lately. Liara remembered when there had been no hair for fingers to antagonize.

“How’s Kaidan?”

“In the shower.” John dropped a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “I think he’ll trap me in a Stasis field if I make anything resembling soup for the next month.”

“’Soup’ is a generous term, if the calorie count is what Dr. Michel thought it was,” Liara said.

“I’m not a big soup guy anyway, so it’s no great loss.” John walked around the counter. “You drinking the last of this coffee?”

“I’d better.” Jack glanced upwards. “You won’t be the only one in Stasis if he figures out what I did to the pot.”

John sniffed at the dark liquid. “Smells worse than usual.”

“Kaidan drinks wuss coffee.”

John made a face. “It’s all nasty.”

“Yeah, yeah. Drink your water, holy boy.”

Liara watched for a reaction, but John just laughed. “Yes, ma’am.”

Jack, as usual, could push the line further than the rest of them. So many things had happened when the Normandy belonged to Cerberus. This abrasive, angry woman had found a place in John’s heart that not even Kaidan quite matched. Liara might have been jealous, but the relationship went both ways. Jack still had her sharp edges, but John never caught on them. She was glad they’d found each other.

“Am I feeding you two?” John was buried in the fridge, tossing plant matter on the counter next to him.

Jack leaned on their part of the counter. “Where the hell did you get broccoli?”

“Garden project.”

“We grow broccoli?”

“We do now.”

“Hell yeah, lunch sounds great.”

Liara stayed on her stool, watching John collect and prepare, counting down until Jack’s wiggling got the best of her and she leapt off her stool, moving around the counter to help.

The noise in the kitchen covered the approaching footsteps. “That better not be soup.”

Jack stuck out her tongue. “It’s some kind of stir-fry.”

“It’s a curry,” John corrected.

“Whatever. I get to make rice.”

Kaidan leaned against the counter, watching the cooks. “Rice sounds good.”

The cooking lesson continued, John and Jack making their traditional mess out of the kitchen. Liara, who had never learned to cook, had asked Kaidan once if the food was worth the cleanup. He had given her a shy smile and said the food wasn’t what mattered.

* * *

Kaidan waved after their friends, shutting the door behind them. He hadn’t been surprised when Jack had moved in while Dr. Michel had him under medical eval. The woman was as loyal as she was violent, and Kaidan knew he was lucky to have her as a friend. An overprotective, swearing friend who wasn’t sure how to handle a crisis that wasn’t, but she meant well. Liara being here had been a surprise, but of course they’d called her when he went missing – best network of contacts in the galaxy.

Both of them had been kind and patient, taking over the everyday tasks while Kaidan got back on his feet. John cycled between worry over complications with his amp and irritation as they worked out how the cultists had managed to get to Kaidan, settling only after Miranda arrived with the wrath of a mama bear. If any surviving cultists tried again, they’d have to be far more creative.

Setting the lock on the front door, Kaidan walked back to the kitchen. John was moving around, putting away leftovers, generally restoring the kitchen to its proper state.

“Anything I can do?”

John looked over his shoulder at him. “I got it.”

“You sure?”

John raised an eyebrow. “You really want to help load the dishwasher?”

Kaidan ran his gaze over his husband, trailing up long legs to abs just starting to hint at softness, sliding over a wide chest to rest on the handsome face above it. “No.”

It took John a moment. “You’re supposed to be resting.”

“I’ve been resting.”

John set the rice pot in the dishwasher, closing the door with a click. “I thought you weren’t supposed to exert yourself until Doc gave you the all-clear.”

“Would I be exerting myself?”

“You,” John stepped close, “are full of questions today.”

Kaidan titled his head down, watching John from under dark brows. “Is that a good thing?”

John chuckled and kept walking, heading toward the back office. “Just unusual.”

Kaidan followed after him, watching the younger man rearrange datapads on the desk. “Really? Not even tempted.”

“Oh,” John tossed a grin over his shoulder, his eyes doing their own share of wandering, “I’m tempted.” 

“But Doc said no,” Kaidan said. “Guess I’ll sort myself out, then.”

“Kaidan!”

“Well, if you’re going to be noble about it.” Kaidan leaned against the wall, thumbs catching in his waistband. “I was always more of a team player, but I can go solo.”

John abandoned the datapads, walking the few steps to stand in front of him. Kaidan lifted his chin. “Solo, huh?” John traced from Kaidan’s wrists to his fingertips. “Seems unwise, going it alone so soon.”

“Yeah,” Kaidan agreed. “Especially since I can’t exert myself.”

John leaned forward, kissing him softly, hands sliding up Kaidan’s arms before detouring to wrap around his waist.

Kaidan hummed, keeping his eyes closed as John pulled back. “Was that so hard?”

“You’re hurt.”

“I’m really not.”

“Kaidan.” He opened his eyes at John’s tone. “You were so light. I carried you up to bed the night we came home and I could tell you’d lost weight.” John’s face was pinched with the memory. “I know I pick you up more than you like, but I’ve never thought of you as a light-weight.”

“Nothing but weakass soup will do that to you.”

“Please.”

Kaidan ran his knuckles over John’s cheek, watching his husband follow the touch. “There’s something else, though.”

John dropped his head to rest on Kaidan’s shoulder. “They didn’t tell me you were gone. They waited till I got back from the dig, days later, to tell me you’d been taken.”

“Days?” Kaidan hadn’t known that. He flashed back to the hard ground, the cold, the hunger. He’d felt guilty wishing John had been there with him, and John hadn’t even known he was gone.

“They wanted to make sure it wasn’t a Spectre mission,” John mumbled.

“I haven’t taken a proper Spectre mission in a decade.”

John snorted. “I guess they thought you were just being sneaky about them.”

“ _Days?_ ” John lifted his head, searching Kaidan’s face for something. Kaidan shrugged, trying to let it go. “At least you came.”

“I will always come.” John could speak with such absolute certainty. “I know I was delayed, but I will always come for you.” John kissed his cheek. “Never doubt that.”

“I never doubt you on principle,” Kaidan teased. John rolled his eyes.

“It was just…the opposite of what I’d been hoping for, when I got home.”

“Yeah?” Kaidan shifted his weight, letting the wall hold him up. “What were you hoping would happen?”

John’s smile turned mischievous. Lips tugging higher on one side, he rested his hands on Kaidan’s waist, stepping closer. “Well, a shower, for one. I was filthy. And something decent to eat.”

“All those years on military rations didn’t ruin you for real food?”

John brushed his lips over Kaidan’s. “Have you seen the guy cooking?”

Kaidan hummed. “Food and a bath. I can see why you were so disappointed.” He gasped against John’s mouth as hands ran up his sides, arching against the other man as they traced over his shoulders and down his arms.

“I missed you.”

God, how did that still do it for him? “Yeah?”

John had moved on, trailing along Kaidan’s jaw before dipping down to his neck. “Yeah.”

Kaidan swallowed, feeling the push of his Adam’s apple against John’s mouth. “Were you…planning to do anything about that?”

John didn’t answer, finishing his trail of soft, teasing kisses at Kaidan’s shirt collar. “Thought, once I was clean and we’d had dinner, I’d go back upstairs.” He nosed under the collar, tonguing at the skin underneath. “Take all my clothes off.” Warm air across wet skin. “Maybe get you to do the same.”

Kaidan groaned, clenching his jaw to try and muffle it. “Follow you upstairs and get naked?”

“You’re the best damn strip tease in the Quadrant.”

Bullshit. Kaidan never did anything fancy, just peeled off whatever he was wearing, uniform or civvies. And John still watched him like a dog eyeing a steak. “What next?”

John traced his nose back up Kaidan’s neck. “I was hoping you’d have some ideas.” He stopped at Kaidan’s ear. “You know what I like”.

Trailing his hand up John’s back, Kaidan buried it in soft, brown hair. He tugged John’s head up, catching those sinful lips with his own. This time, the kiss wasn’t soft. It was all heat — “please” and “I’m sorry” and “fuck me”.

Stopping for breath, Kaidan held John’s head against his. “Well, let’s see,” he gasped, focusing back on their discussion. “You’re not wearing anything. And if you’re watching me, you’re probably laid out on our bed.” Kaidan swallowed, remembering. “All long and scarred and beautiful.” He kissed John gently. “And mine.”

Growling, John pushed against him, hips catching against hips. “All yours.”

Kaidan huffed a laugh. “Hate to waste a chance. Guess I’d crawl up the bed, over you, nice and slow.” He felt John’s breath catch. Kaidan dropped his voice lower. “Take my time. Admire all those scars that prove you chose life — chose us — over whatever peace comes next.”

John’s hands had wandered, settling on his ass. “Always chose us.”

Kaidan grinned. “If I’m in charge, we’re going slow.” John groaned, head dropping back down to Kaidan’s shoulder. “You go nuts,” Kaidan gasped, “when I touch you. Run my hands all over you. Slow and firm and…deliberate.” John bit him, just hard enough. “And with you gone for so long, I would be deliberate. Make you writhe under me, just from a little pressure in the right places.”

John’s arms were wrapped around him now, pulling Kaidan full against him. “Tease.”

“Oh no. Now, I’ll tease.” Kaidan pressed his mouth against John’s ear. “Now, we need you ready.”

“Ready?”

Pressing a kiss to John’s ear, Kaidan continued. “All laid out like that, arching into my touch, breathy and gasping with those beautiful blue eyes closed, and you think this doesn’t end with me buried inside you?”

John’s hips ground against his, breath hitching. “Please.”

“Gotta get you there, John.” John groaned at his name, hips searching for a rhythm. “You might be willing, on your back with your legs spread, but Nature’s a demanding bitch.” Kaidan bit his lip, using the pain to steady himself. “How good were you at visualization exercises?”

“What?”

Kaidan rubbed his fingers along John’s neck, his other hand sliding lower. “How many details do you need, John? Should I walk you through it?”

John tugged Kaidan’s shirt loose, warm hand sliding under to rest against warmer skin. “At this rate, Kaidan, I’ll get myself ready.”

“No, you won’t.” Kaidan caught his thumb in John’s belt. “You can touch me, but that’s it.”

“Your back’s gonna be covered in red marks.”

“Good.” Kaidan grinned. “A reminder, of how much you care.” Kaidan rolled his hips, relishing the sounds coming from his husband. “And to show I care,” he breathed, “let’s skip ahead.”

“How far ahead?”

Rolling his hips again, Kaidan hummed. “Let’s say you’re all stretched out. Ready and moaning, and I push in, slow and steady. Just how you like it.”

Nails dragged along his lower back. Kaidan let out a moan of his own.

“All the way, John. No stopping halfway.”

Pushing Kaidan against the wall, John pulled back to look at him, blue eyes blown black. “You had to go and get kidnapped.”

Kaidan leaned in close and bit John’s bottom lip. “Focus,” Kaidan ordered, his own mind flitting back over the recent past. “Stay with me."

“I am,” John groaned.

“On your back.”

“I know.”

“Eyes closed.”

John’s eyes closed.

“As far in as you’ll take me.”

John kissed him, his whole body focused on Kaidan. He’d been out of the Alliance for longer than he’d served, but Tuchanka was a hard world. No weakness, in will or body. And being the focus of both that will and that body.

Kaidan pushed John back. “What should I do now?” He forced his eyes open, watching John. “Kissing’s good. Trace my way down your neck, like you did mine?” Kaidan whispered against John’s open mouth. “Maybe I’ll just stay here, rolling into you, pulling out to find that spot that makes you shout.”

John shuddered, his grip on Kaidan’s shoulders almost painful.

“Or should I finally,” Kaidan kissed him, “finally, touch you?” He slid a hand down the outside of John’s pants, touch firm and focused. “John?”

Grabbing the wall behind them, John tensed against him, hips stuttering as he gasped. Kaidan caught him, holding John close, breathing him in. He tightened his hold when John’s knees buckled, helping him stand, letting the younger man lean on him.

John shivered. “Fuck, I love you.”

Kaidan smiled. “I love you, too.”

John looked him over. “Tell me it wasn’t just me.”

Kaidan smirked. “Oh, it’s not just you.” He caught John as the man moved to drop to his knees. “Upstairs?”

That wicked grin. It would be the death of him, but what a way to go.

John traced his hands up to Kaidan’s waist, face serious for a moment. “We go slow? Starving is a serious thing.”

Kaidan pushed off the wall, giving John a kiss. “Slow is good.” Taking John’s hand, he tugged his husband toward the stairs with a smirk. “Remember, I’m not supposed to exert myself.”

“Do stairs count?” Catching up, John tugged at Kaidan’s shirt. “We have a perfectly good couch down here.”

“Not after last time.” Kaidan caught the wandering hand, pulling John close as he continued, walking backwards so he kept access to that mouth. “Upstairs, on our bed, nice and slow.”


End file.
